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Thursday, March 11, 2021

My minds illustrations


Dreaming is something we do our entire lives (I imagine). I heard somewhere that dreams are what keep our brain from eating itself. I don’t know if it’s that severe but I’m sure it keeps the brain entertained while we sleep. I know I am not alone but if I kept track of the emotional “theme” to my dreams, they would trend to the negative side. I’m not saying they are all nightmares, death, plague, or sadness (we all have those) but for as long as I can remember, my dreams have been... different.

I have a reoccurring dream that only comes up when I am getting sick. It has been the exact same since I was a kid and when it happens I know that my illness check is in the mail. It starts with a girl who looks a lot like Alice and she is walking through a field of yellow flowers. She finds a very large boulder and when she is right next to it... it turns into a rock monster with red eyes and a throat of fire and it swallows her. The rest of the dream is the girl falling in a well like cave and it is illuminated with red and orange light. That’s it! 100% chance I am getting sick. 

My pre-sickness dream.

There have been so many other weird dreams over the course of my life. As a child, I had legit nightmares... monsters, aliens, if it was a scary movie, I dreamed of it. As an adult, my “nightmares” aren’t scary... they are stressful. Missions from my previous job that COULD have gone in a different direction. Actions in my current job that could have been worse. Near misses from numerous points in my life and all the little things that my brain dissects and rehashes too many times over. My subconscious entertainment only adds to the anxiety I have everyday. Going to bed became an anxiety inducing mess, so I had to figure out how to stop this Ferris wheel of anxiety and stress.

I researched ways to improve sleep and here is what I came up with:

1. Move any (or all) electronics away from your sleeping space. I HAVE to have my cell phone for an alarm clock but I keep it away from my bed.
2. Get some kind of regular exercise (walking, running, yoga, CrossFit, weights, etc). 
3. Try meditation. I use guided meditation and there are several apps that are very good.
4. Read. It helps calm the mind. I wish I did more but I am a very picky reader. 

My dreams have dominated the quality (and sometimes duration) of my sleep. I wish I could say, “do this and it’s fixed” but it’s not that easy. There are no silver bullets. It requires work, discipline, trial and error. I’m still learning and trying things. Dreaming is something that we all do and will all do our entire lives... I just hope mine do not haunt me forever.

I try (emphasis on try) to keep my dreams from affecting my mental state for the day. Sometimes I can let it go, sometimes I think about it throughout the day. I have found that if I talk about my dreams to someone, I find that I’m not alone and that I feel better afterwards.


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