If you're like me, you need something to occupy your time with. I have a real hard time just sitting still and doing nothing. I would be much happier just tinkering around in my garage than doing absolutely nothing (unless I can sleep). For many of us, we sometimes lose ourselves, our individuality within our career. I saw the same thing when I was in the Army. You could ask anyone, "What are you?" and the replies would be professions or job specialty. I became very wrapped in my identity as a medic and loved everything about it. When I got out, there were serious separation anxiety issues that took me a long time to overcome. I wasn't a medic anymore or a soldier or any of the things that I thought I had become during my enlistment. I was back to being another guy in the world. I tried to force my old life onto my new one and the result was a disgruntled veteran, which nobody likes and eventually, I didn't either. I had to change something in my life that would change me.
I started rucking (walking with a weighted backpack). It was something from my old life that I still enjoyed. It got me outside and kept me active but it also allowed me to keep a foot in that old world. I had difficulty separating the parts that I liked from the whole and I kept many habits I didn't need anymore. It wasn't until I started to really let go of my old life, my Army life, and live in the moment and not the past. For me, growth wasn't progressing the way I wanted it to because I was trying to drag my past along with me.
I kept rucking but I rounded the edges on it and got more people involved with me. Bringing in people from outside my "bubble" forced me to change, to adapt, to grow. I realized that I needed more than just rucking though, I needed to start evolving myself.
So I started getting better with my cooking skills, got back into art projects, and started experimenting with woodworking. My kids were in scouts and that got me outdoors, even more, hiking, camping, and just learning to relax. I started working out so I could do my job better and more efficiently, all while making myself healthier. My newest interest in archery has become my favorite extra thing to do. There is so much that it offers me that nothing else has been able to. It's a form of meditation for me, a place where I can focus my energy and thoughts on singular things and calm down. I can release stress and negative emotions and when I am done shooting, I feel so much better.
So I hope you have something that you do that brings you happiness and peace. It doesn't really matter what it is, it's what you get out of it that matters. If you haven't found your thing yet, don't give up. Keep trying new things and maybe even relearning old ones, you never know what is going to strike your interest. Invest in yourself and your well being... you're worth it.
